This is fun from Barry Blanchard;
"The first time I went there was to follow my good friend and ice guru, Kevin “Wally” Doyle up the route. February, 1980, Wally lead the crux with his usual panache. I teetered up tenuously talking to the Lord about every pick placement. “Please, God, let this hold.” I had a 55 cm Serac Sabre in my left hand and a 25 cm Molinar Hammer in my right. Molinar was too short and I flailed to get him in. My knuckles took a bloody beating and my forearm wilted with exhaustion. God wasn’t listening, or he got bored with me. "
and certainly what will become an all time classic:
“Do you know that you have a bald spot.” What! I was losing my hair! … at 23! I instinctively felt my crown, but she said “No, not there, ” and she guided my hand just above, and right, of the nape of my neck “here.” I felt skin as smooth, and bald, as a baby’s bottom. She held up a mirror, hairless pink scalp the size of two silver dollars.
“Oh god. Am I going bald?”
"No, not necessarily. It happens to men sometimes. Have you been really scared lately?”
More here :-)